Dead Dog: A man wakes up to find his dog, dead, lying next to the bed on the floor. He doesn't believe his dog is dead, so he takes him to the vet, and the vet says, ''I'm sorry, but your dog is dead.'' The man

Dead Ant: Q:What did the elephant say when it saw a dead ant? A: DEAD ANT, DEAD ANT, DEAD ANT....... Q: What did the elephant say when it saw a live ant? A: It stepped on the ant and then said DEAD ANT, DEAD AN

Dog Butt: If my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave its butt and tell it to walk backwards!

Dangerous Squirrels: A man, Bob, and his friend Joe went out hunting. This was Joe's first time ever hunting, so he was following Bob's lead. Bob saw a small herd of deer and told Joe to stay in the exact spot he was and

Curious George: What did the man in the big yellow hat have to do every day when Curious George broke a glass or a plate? Spank his monkey.

Crossbred Dogs: Malamute x Pointer = Moot Point, favorites of lawyers but ... it doesn't seem to matter.Pointer x Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet.Kerry Blue Terrier x Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog

Cross Breeding: Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosuar with a pig? A: Jurassic pork!

Cricket: If I had one cricket ball in one hand, and another cricket ball in the other hand, what would I have? A bloody big cricket.

Crazy Little Critters...: Q. How do crabs leave the hospital? A. On crotches!

Cows In Government: FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of

Cow with No Legs: Q: What do you call a cow with no legs. A: Ground Beef!