I hear it's untweetable.: Q: Have you heard of that disease that you get from kissing birds?A: Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. I hear it's untweetable.

Going to See Santa: A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?" The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie a

Attention Soldier: The manager hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. While leaving the room, she courteously said, 'Oh, sir, did you know t

One Chicken, One Road, Many Reasons: Why did the chicken cross the road?MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.JERRY SEINFELD: Why does

Rocket Science: Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity.The idea is t

Nutty Mutts: malamute x pointer = moot point, favorites of lawyers but ... it doesn't seem to matter.bull terrier x s***** = bulls****, a gregarious but unreliable breed.pointer x setter = poinsetter, a traditiona

Four Men and Their Dogs: Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, and the fourth was a Government Worker. To show off

Blondes and Turtles: What do turtles and blondes have in common?If they're on their back, they're screwed!

Insulting Parrot: A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, ''Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" The lady was furious and continued on her way.On the way home, she passed by the pet store again and the parro

Throwing Stuff Down A Mineshaft: Two guys were hiking in the mountains when they came across an old mine shaft going straight down into the ground."Wow," said the first guy. "I wonder how deep it is?""I dunno," said the second. "Let'

Cat in the Way: Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slamme