Elephant and Man: What did the elephant say to the naked man? ''It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?''

Eagles and Weasels: Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

DUCKS OR PLUCKS?: Q: What did did the mother duck say to the little duck. A: If you don't behave, I'm gonna quack you one.

Ducks and Elephants: Why do ducks have webbed feet? To put out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet?To put out burning ducks.

Dragging Their Feet: Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, Vietnam, 1969.

Double-Parked Frog: What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad

Donkeys' Quixotic Journey: Who do donkeys journey to the top of the mountain to see? The Wiseass.

Donkeys at Christmas: What do donkeys send out near Christmas? Mule-tide greetings.

Donkey Compliment: How do you compliment a donkey? ''Hey, nice ass!''

Donkey and Onion: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion? A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes!

Don't Welsh On Me: Why do the Welsh shag sheep on cliff edges? So the sheep push back harder!