Panda Bear: A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you goi

Panda Bear: A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you goi

An Atheist and a Bear: An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking alo

Legless Dog: What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter... he won't come to you anyway!

Shark Attack: Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.

Every Party Needs a Pooper: Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to a party? Becase he was a party pooper.

Mad Cows: Two cows were talking in the field. One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?" The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn't it?"

The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers: Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends? A: He plays with Pooh

Deaf Rover: What do you call a dog wearing ear muffs? Anything you want, he cant hear you.

There She Blows: Yo mama so fat, when she jumped into the ocean the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

Three Strikes Your Out: A farmer just got married and was going home on his wagon pulled by a team of horses. When one of the hoses stumbled, he said, "That's once." Then it stumbled again. He said, "That's twice." Then late