Pay the price: A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer." The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars." The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to t

The drunken contest: This man walks into a bar and finds a jar full of money on the counter and asks the bartender what its for. The bartender replies, "Every night we have a contest that you have to complete three tasks

Furniture salesman: Two furniture salesman are sitting at the bar commiserating. One says, "Man! If I don't move some furniture this month, I'm going to lose my ass."The second salesman says, "Watch your mouth! There's a

Escape a dwi rap: Two rednecks are driving down the highway, drinking their beer, when flashing lights from a policeman appear in the driver's rear-view mirror. ''Don't worry!'' says the driver to his friend, ''Just do

Dumb drunk: A guy walks into a bar and he orders a whiskey. He sits down and just before he takes a sip of his whiskey a guy runs in and says, “Bill! Your house burnt down!

Drunken fat chance: A policeman stops a motorist and says, ''Excuse me sir, have you been drinking?'' The motorist says, ‘‘why, have I got a fat girl next to me?''

Drunken confession: Two drunks are at a bar, drinking up a storm. One drunk says to the other drunk, “Did you sleep with my wife last night?”To which the other drunk replies, “Not a wink

Drunk driver: A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a Breathalyzer. ''I can't do that, officer.'' ''Why not?'' ‘‘because I'm an asth

Drunk at your door: A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock -- it's half-past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and

Drug used to seduce men: Men, please read this if you go to bars or clubs:Guys, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from a girl. There is a drug called "beer" that is essentially in liquid form. The most eff

Drink this in memory of me: The bartender was washing his glasses when an elderly Irishman came in. With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, and asked for a sip of I