Do you have any nails?: A woman walks in a bar and asks the bartender if he has any peanuts. He says no. She comes back the next day with the same question and gets the same answer. She then comes back another day and asks h

Control freaks: Three men are at a bar, and two of the men are talking about the control they have over their wives, while the third remains silent. After a while, the first two men turn to the third and ask, "What a

Celtic mortality: Q: What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A: One less drunk.

Californiacation: A Texan, a Californian and a Seattlite were all drinking in a bar. After a while, the Texan grabbed a bottle of tequila, threw it in the air and shot it into a thousand pieces. "Don't you boys worry a

C-ing I dog: Two guys were walking their dogs and came across a bar. Since they were hot and tired from walking the dogs they decided to go in and have a drink. Unfortunately, the bar didn't allow dogs. There was

Bubba's secret: A bunch of guys are sitting at the local bar. They get pretty drunk, and the topic turns to Bubba at the end of the bar who, as everyone knows, has the biggest dick in town. One of the guys gets enoug

Brother is "out": Guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says, "Wow! You must have had one hell of a day." "Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay." The

Braggadocio: Four guys are drinking in a bar, bragging about their sons. "My son," the first one says, "started out washing cars at dealership, but now owns the dealership and just gave one of his friends four new

Blondes love puzzles: There was this bartender & he was working at the bar one night. In walked a group of blondes & they were chanting ''44 days! 44 days!'' One of the blondes was carrying a picture puzzle of Cookie Monst

Biker bar interview: A little old lady wanted to join a biker club. She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers the door. She proclaimed, "I want to

Beer nuts vs. deer nuts: Q: How can you tell the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? A: The Beer Nuts are about a dollar fifty and the Deer Nuts are under a Buck.