Ventriloquist and th: A ventriloquist had just finished his polack joke routine when a huge, drunk polack confronted him, ''i'm sick of your polack jokes and i'm going to knock the s*** out of you.'' ''i'm sorry, it was al

Gold Bar: A man went out drinking with his friends and came home the next morning to find his wife waiting for him. He apologized for worrying her but proceeded to tell her that he had been in the most elegant

Bar pickup: While nursing a drink at a bar, a young woman was distressed to see a drunken unkempt man sit down next to her. "say, honey-baby ... i'd really like tiger into those pants o’douis." "thanks," she shot

Drunk Lady In Bar: A lady stumbles into a bar. She says, "Beer tender, give me a dribble martini, and put a pickle in it."He gives it to her, and she drinks it down.She says, "Beer tender, give me another dribble martin

Shouting the Bar: A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill." The bartender does just as the drunk

Best Friend: A guy is sitting at a bar, throwing back glass after glass of scotch. The bartender, a little worried, asks him if he's okay."No, I'm not," the guy replies."I just caught my wife in bed with my best f

12 Y.O. Scotch: A guy walks into a bar and rudely demands a shot of 12-yr old scotch. The bartender thinks "This guy doesn't know the difference," so he pours a shot of 2-year old scotch. The patron takes one sip and

Piss Drunk: One night a man decides to visit his local bar. He takes a seat and orders a beer. After polishing off his beer, he beckons the bartender over and says, “Bet you $20 I can bite my eye.

Rude jerk: This guy walked into a lounge, and this was one of those type of guys that's bold and rude and will say about anything to a woman, you know the type, and he noticed this attractive lady sitting by her

Fall-Down Drunk: A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face. Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside. He tried t

I Thought You Were M uttered: A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped