Sandwich: A man walks into a bar with a sandwich on his shoulder. The bartender turns, looks at him and says, ''Sorry sir, we don't serve food here!!''

Give Me A Double: So this guy walks into a bar and says, "Gve me two beers." The bartender obliges him. The guy looks into his wallet and says, "Give me two more beers." So the bartender gives him two more beers. The m

String Theory: A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The string walks away a little upset and sits down with his friends. A

"Got any grapes?": A ducks walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves. The next day, the duck returns and

Pay the Price: A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer." The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars." The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to t

12 Shots: A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?" The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had wh

Just idle conversation...: A bored guy sat in the bar and looking to strike up a conversation.He turns to bartender and says, "Hey, about those Democrats in the Congress . ..""STOP pal - I don't allow talk about politics in my

Singing in the bar: A man was sitting in a bar and noticed a group of people using sign language. He also noticed that the bartender was using sign language to speak to them. When the bartender returned to him, the man a

Join The Line: A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about

Say a prayer.: A lady approaches a priest at a restaurant and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.''What do they say?' the priest inquired

Your proctologist: Hey, good news! Your proctologist called...he found your head!