Careful what you wish for: Two guys were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped under the surface.After floating under a

Bar Quotes: 1. Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.2. Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.3. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of

Drunk: After having had several drinks in a bar, a man staggers out And starts walking down the road with one foot in the gutter And the other on the curb. A policeman runs up to the man and says, "Hey! You'

Seatbelt competition: A police man pulled over a car and told the driver he had won $5.000 dollars in the seatbelt competition."What are you going to with the money?" asked the police man."Well, I guess i 'm gonna get a dr

How many bars?: A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats him on a stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The Bartender politely informs the

Decoy: One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly Rowdy bar for possible violations of the Driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on

Superman?: This business man goes up to a bar, located at the top of The Empire State Building in New York. It looks like a nice Place. He takes a seat at the bar next to another guy."This is a really a nice pla

The Bailey Beverage: This guy and his girlfriend head to the local bar. The girl says she'll be happy to pick up the round as she's heard of a new drink she wants him to try.She gets back to the table and has two drinks f

Workman's Comp: A guy went to a bar and ordered a drink. He looked around the place and noticed a guy at a corner table with long hair and a beard, dressed in a robe and sandals. When the bartender brought the drink

Man Needs a Push: Not too long ago I was awakened at 3 a.m. by a loud pounding on the door. After I had slowly come to my senses, mustered the courage to go answer the door. There on my porch was a drunken stranger, st

Hang your parka: It's forty below zero one winter night in Alaska. Pat is drinking at his local saloon and the bartender says to him, "You owe me quite a bit on your tab." "Sorry," says Pat, "I'm flat broke this week.