Sexy timepiece: A man is sitting at a bar one night, wearing a fancy new watch, covered with buttons and lights and dials. The woman next to him says, "Wow, that's a really fancy watch

Saint Patrick’s day bar troubleshooting: SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, beer is unusually pale and clear. FAULT: Glass empty. ACTION: Find someone who will buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste

Pulled over: A cop pulls over a car that's been swerving across the lanes of a road. "Get out of the car, please." "But I'm not drunk, officer!" "Listen, it doesn't matter if you're drunk or not. If you don't get

Poor couple: A poor man and woman sat down in their living room and the man said, ''I'm going down to the pub for a bit, so put your coat on.'' The woman replied, ''Oh, sweetie, why? Are you taking me with you?''

Pig in a bar: A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, ‘‘why did you have to bring the pig in with you?'' Then the lady answered, ''Excuse me, I think this is a goose.'' A

Pickup truck full of blondes: Four blondes went to the bar in their pick-up. Three sat up in the cab and one sat in the bed of the truck. The three blondes were in the bar for about an hour before the fourth finally came in, looki

Out of t.p.: A sexy lady in a bar walks up to the counter and motions the bartender over. She starts to run her fingers through his hair and asks to speak to the manager. The bartender says, ''He isn't here but I

No, officer: A man is driving with wife, when he is pulled over by a policeman. "Sir," says the cop. "You were going 60 in a 50." "No, I wasn't." "Yes, you were," says the wife. "Keep quiet!" says the man, angrily

Nightclub: A guy goes to a nightclub and when the bouncer won't let him in the guy asks, "'Why not?" "Because you're not wearing a tie," says the bouncer. "But I have come all the way from the other end of town

Nagging wife vs. drunk driver: A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over and asks, “Where have you been?

Mistaken identity: A man walks into a bar. the bartender says to the guy, "what can i get you?" "make it a whisky