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Bar Jokes

Guy spits into glass: There's a guy in a bar, it's late, and the guy and the bartender are the only ones left in the bar. The guy pushes his empty beer glass over to the edge of the counter, walks to the other end of the b

Six Double Vodkas: A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas."The barman says "Wow! You must have had one hell of a day.""Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."The next

Wine Warnings: Due to increasing product liability litigation, wine manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all wine bottles:1. WAR

Drink For The Women: One day this big, nasty, sweaty woman wearing a raggedy sleeveless sundress walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar

12-inch prick: Another guy walks into a bar with a one-foot man sitting on his shoulder. He ordered a beer. The bartender was curious as he got the beer for the guy, but as he put the beer down on the bar, before th

6 Shots of Whiskey: A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. 'What can I get you?' the barman asks.'I want six shots of whisky,' responds the young man.'Six shots? Are you celebrating something?''Yeah, my first blo

Alligator in Bar: A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar. He turned to the astonished patrons and said, 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and

Drunk Irish: A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. 'Why, of course,' comes the reply.The first man then asks, 'Where are you from?''I'm from Ireland,' replies th

2 drunks bar hopping: Two drunks were trying to figure out how to get some alcohol for free. They only had a dollar in change between them. "I've got it, follow Me." said the first man. They went to a hot dog stand and bou

$2000 cash prize: A man goes into a bar and sees a pile of cash on a table beneath a big sign that reads "$2,000 Cash Prize! See bartender for Details." Keeping one eye on the stack of money, the man goes over and asks

What do the Pubs Name?: A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Hi stranger, my name is Mike. I'll give you a free beer if you Can guess the name of this bar in three tries."The man says, "Thanks...Mik

 
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