Mighty mouse: Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse orders a scotch, gulps it down, and slams the glass

Mermaid sex: This guy went into a bar and ordered a beer. He happened to look down the bar and see a man sitting there with a head the size of a cue ball. So he walked down and said to the man, “Excuse me sir, I d

Merle goes out drinking every night...: Every night after dinner, Merle took off for the local watering hole. He would spend the whole evening there and always arrive home, quite inebriated, around midnight each night.He usually had trouble

Making a confession: A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church, sat down in the Confessional, and said nothing. The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting. The priest coughs to attract the drunk man's attention, b

Lemon squeeze: The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they had a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lem

Keep gabby reece away: Don't trust volleyball players with your drinks." "Why?" "They might spike 'em."

Karate chop: There was a little guy sitting at a bar drinking a beer. A while later a huge guy walked into the bar, he went up to the little guy, and karate chopped him in the back. The little guy fell off his bar

Just a juggle: A man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guys' car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat. "Sir," the cop says. "Why do you have

Jill's legs: So this new bar opens and the owner can't think of a name. So he decides to name the bar after the 3rd person who walks in. It takes doesn’t take long and soon the 3rd customer walks in. the owner jum

Irish dui: Late one Friday in Dublin, a policeman spotted a man driving very erratically. He pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. ''Aye, so I have. 'Ties Friday, you know, so m

Incontinent leprechaun: One day a man walked in a bar with a box. He sat down, opened the box, and out popped a leprechaun. The man told the bartender, "I want a Rolling Rock and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here