When you come in to spank me: His father sends a small boy to bed.Five minutes later... "Da-ad...""What?""I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?""No. You had your chance. Lights out."Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad...""WHAT?""I'

A little voice from the back of the room: On the first day of kindergarten, the teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."A little voice from the back of the room asked: "How will that help?"

"Why do you say that?": I don't think my mom knows much about children.""Why do you say that?""Because she always puts me to bed when I am wide awake and gets me up when I am sleepy."

Two five-year-old boys: Two five-year-old boys are standing at the potty to pee. One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!" "I've been circumcised." "What's that mean?" "It means they cut the skin off the end." "How

The Mystery of Childbirth: A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?" "Well honey..." said the slightly prudish parent, "the stork brought you to us." "Oh," said the boy. "Well, how did yo

Wise Old Man: A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next

Chicken Wire & Duct Tape: An old man in Mississippi is sitting on his front porch watching the sunrise. He sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?" "Roll of chicken wi

Daughter's Prayer: A family was having some people to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six- year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing? " I wouldn't know what to say," replied the litt

Little Johnny Stands Up: A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher

Little Johnny Answers the Question: Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?" Little Johnny: "None." Teacher: "Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are le

Rubbing Her The Right Way: A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!" Over the next couple of months, he saw h