Bad news/Good news: Mother to teenage daughter: "The bad news is, we're moving to a different city. The good news is, your new school is full of boys who didn't see you get sick in the cafeteria last month."

He wanted to be a cool cat: Q: Why did the cat sleep with a fan on? A: He wanted to be a cool cat.

Put them in a barking lot: Q: What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street? A: Put them in a barking lot.

You can count on me: Q: What did the adding machine say to the cashier? A: You can count on me.

Why do two skunks argue?: Q: Why do two skunks argue? A: Because they like to kick up a stink.

He called a toe truck: Q: What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe? A: He called a toe truck.

The letter "g".: Q: What do you find at the end of everything? A: The letter "g".

What is a volcano?: Q: What is a volcano? A: A mountain with the hiccups.

When he steals a base: Q: When is a baseball player like a thief? A: When he steals a base.

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?: Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldozer.

Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed mons: Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster? A: Hello, hello.