Things I've Learned from My Children: 1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 2. A 3-year-old is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 3. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they ca

Little Nancy's Pet: Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?" "My goldfi

A little boy wrote to Santa ...: One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

A lady and her baby...: A lady and her baby get on a bus. The bus driver looks at the lady, and then her baby, and then screams, "AHHHH! That's the ugliest child I've ever seen in my life!" The lady then, totally disgusted,

A grade school teacher: A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. Timmy stood up and said, "My mom is a doctor!" Sarah stood up and said, "My father is a professor!" Little Johnny stood

It saw the salad dressing!: Q. Why did the tomato turn red?A. It saw the salad dressing!

A watch dog: Q. What dog keeps the best time?A. A watch dog.

Sea-gulls fly over the sea: Q. Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?A. Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!

A stick.: Q. What's brown and sticky?A. A stick.

In snow banks: Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?A. In snow banks.

ME!!!: Q. What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane?A. ME!!!