Blowjob: A young guy drops off his girlfriend at her home after being out together on a date. When they reach the front door he leans up against the house with one hand and says to her, "How about a blowjob?""

Dihydrogen monoxide: A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science fair. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreadin

Student: Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam for May of 1997 consisted of only one question. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, ''Why do

Ignore: Two junior co-eds went to the movies one night. After 15 minutes passed one girl leaned over and whispered to her friend, "What should I do? The guy sitting next to me is masturbating." Her friend rep

Cells: A group of students had a biology lab. As a part of this lab they were supposed to scrape some bacteria off their teeth with a toothpick and then examine it under the microscope. But this one girl had

10 ways: 10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and

Ways to annoy your Professor: 1. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board. 2. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook. 3. Hold up a piece of paper that

Cherry Pop: Three girls are sitting around, totally bored so one girl suggests that they make up nicknames for their ideal boyfriends and name them after soda pops. "I want mine to be 7-Up, 'cause 7 days a week h

Peter: A female teacher walked into the class and saw a giant penis realistically depicted on the black board."Who did it?" she asked.Silence."I demand that those who did it admit it!"Silence."The last time,

MAKING THE TEAM: A sweet young thing took her seat on opening day of her college class. The young man behind her tapped her on the shoulder and said, "Why are you wearing a football jersey?" She replied, "Why, I bough

Female: Vovochka got angry at his female teacher and told her to jerk off. She pissed off at him and went to the director of the school. He calls Vovochka to his office:- Did you tell Maria Ivanovna to jerk o

First day: On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female st

Landing strip: Maria Ivanovna the teacher came to the class wearing a dress with a deep cut on her chest, and there hung an airplane-shaped silver pendant. Misha stared at the teacher throughout the class hour. The

Positions: A professor goes along the corridor of the college. A student approaches him: "Good morning, professor. May I ask you?" "Sure." "Tell me, please, when you go to bed where do you put your beard on or u

Russian school: One day an officer is visiting a Russian school. He comes up to little Lovya."Who is your mother, little boy?""Mother Russia.""And who is your father?""Comrade Stalin.""And what do you want to be when

Teacher: A teacher in the class on the ancient history asked a student,"Who was the first man on the earth?""Adam.""And to what severe punishment had God subjected him?""Eve."

Inspector: A school inspector came to Vovochka's class and sat with him in the first row. The young female teacher writes a problem on the chalkboard:"2x2=", accidently drops the chalk and bends over to pick it

Virgin: A girl who was in the eighth grade said to her parents, "Today we had a physician in our class. We all undressed and he conducted a check-up.""And?""You know, they found only one virgin in the entire

Telling Off The Dean : Wouldn't it be nice to tell the Dean of your college what you REALLY think about him/her? Well, if you like your Dean as much as I like my Dean, then you'd better keep your mouth shut. I knew I'd get

Everything: A student comes home with a girlfriend and asks her:"I have spirits and vodka. What would you like?""Oh! I don't know! Everything is so tasty!"

The Powers Of Observation : A professor teaching medicine at the university was tutoring a class on 'Observation'. He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. "This," he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be obser

The College Food Chain : THE DEANLeaps tall buildings in a single bound.Is more powerful than a locomotive.Is faster than a speeding bullet.Walks on water.Gives policy to God. THE DEPARTMENT HEADLeaps short buildings in a sin

How To Write A Term Paper: 1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it. 3. Walk down to the

Oxygen: The teacher asked kids to bring something belonging to their grandparents to the school.- Masha, a cap? Very good.- Grisha, a badge? Great!- Vovochka, an oxygen pillow? Did your grandma allow you to t

Phone call: A phone call to a coed dorm:- Can I have Natasha?- You can have everyone...