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WRITING HOME WITH EASE |
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| Dear Parent(s), Date: I am too busy to write, but this checklist covers most of the topics of interest to both of us.Please send me: __ Money (Cash) Amount: _______ Food (Cookies) Dozens: _______ Clean clothes!Relationships: __ What?__ I am in love with myself.__ I am in love!__ I am engaged.__ I got married last weekend.My Roommate: __ Worships the ground I walk on.__ Gave me a black eye.__ Committed suicide and left a note blaming me.__ Has fleas.My Professors are: __ Sadistic water walkers.__ Mental institution escapees.__ Brain dead nerds.__ Super oxygen thieves.Latest News: __ I wrecked the car.__ I can't use your credit card because I exceeded the credit limit.__ You are going to have a grandchild.__ False alarm--you aren't going to have a grandchild.Food: __ Is great!__ Even makes me appreciate your cooking__ I have had pizzas and soda for the last twenty meals.__ I stopped eating out of fear.Grades: __ I am making all A's__ I am not being properly challenged__ I will be home after this semester __ I never knew they had a letter grade below FI study: __ Night and day__ All the time__ Eighty hours a week__ Only on Sunday afternoon__ None of the above Daily Devotions: __ I read my Bible everyday__ I can't read__ Someone stole my Bible while I was at the local barOn my last visit home, I left: __ My glasses.__ My paper that was due yesterday.__ The clothes you washed for me.__ The check to cover my delinquent tuition payment.__ Other ____________________________.Please send above items by FedEx (Priority One) or UPS (Blue).Laundry: __ My white underwear is now _______.__ I am saving money by not using detergent.__ Don't worry, I washed my clothes last semester.__ I hang my clothes out the window when it rains. My room: __ Can pass your "white glove" test.__ Is only ___% full.__ Could not be located last Saturday night.__ Was rented by the ROTC for hazardous terrain training.Parties: __ I don't inhale__ I only go to meet people__ Haven't been to one since this morning.Hope you: __ Miss me__ Can live without me__ Are not overdoing the celebration of my absence Salutation: __ Your Daughter,__ Your Son,__ Yours, |
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