Anybody there?: All the fraternity brothers left the house for a long weekend except for Grady, who decided to stay behind and get some studying done. One night Grady heard a noise under his bed. Fearing it might be

Absent minded professors?: A Mississippi professor was at a party and became indignant when asked if college professors were absent-minded. "Professors haven't got bad memories," he declared. "They're not absent-minded. Don't y

Can you pass this ball?: Dwayne showed up at the practice field to fry out for the Kansas State football team. "What position do you wanna play?" asked the coach. "Quarterback!" answered Dwayne. The coach handed him a footbal

Eloping with a Princeton professor: There was the girl who, against her family's wishes, ran off and married a Princeton physics professor. The eloping bride received the following telegram from her parents: "Do not come home and all wi

I told him you were out: Housekeeper: Professor, there's a bill collector at the door. I told him you were out. But he wouldn't believe me. Professor: No? Then I suppose I'll have to go and tell him myself.

Three tasks before you can join: Dinkin, an Ohio farm boy, was trying to join a fraternity at the University of Alaska, but the boys didn't want him. They told him that in order to be accepted he'd have to do three things: drink a ga

Crowded mens room: Professor Pollen went into the men's room on the train and found it crowded with other men. When he came out ten minutes later, his wife said,"Darling, you've still got whiskers. Why didn't you shave?

Sign in the toilets: In the municipal offices of a New England city, there was a rule that only Harvard graduates could be promoted above a certain level. The last three college men to assume responsible jobs with the adm

New case of herpes: Tipton and Baldwin shared a room on the North Carolina campus. One day Tipton came in and said to his roommate, "I hear there's a new case of herpes in the dorm." "Great!" said Baldwin. "I was getting

Faster than the speed of light: The physics professor turned from the blackboard and said to his class, "I defy you to name anything faster than the speed of light." "Just one thing," said the pretty coed. "A frat man on his way hom

Credit: How many Buckeye football players does it take to change a light bulb? One, but he gets three hours credit.

Pin-headed: "Did you hear? Lament's getting' a Ph.D.""What does Ph.D. stand for?" "in his case, Pin-headed Dope."

Collection: What is a Furman freshman doing when he grasps at thin air? Collecting his thoughts.

Instructor: Did you hear about the Duke science major who tried to blow up his instructor's car? He burned his lips trying.

Gergetown: Why are Georgetown graduates like Coke bottles? They're both empty from the neck up.

Oregon: Why did the Oregon State psychology major climb up the chain link fence? To see what was on the other side.

Windtunel: What do you call ten Utah State law students standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.

Shine: How do you get a Texas Tech senior's eyes to sparkle? Shine a flashlight in his ears.

Chocolate: How many Wake Forest fraternity brothers does it take to make chocolate chip cookies? Seventeen. One to do it and sixteen to shell the M&M's.

Six hours: Did you hear about the Penn State professor who went around in a revolving door for six hours because he couldn't remember whether he was going in or coming out?

Gauge: How do you measure a Villanova graduate's I.Q.?With a tire gauge.

Kiss: Did you hear about the Western Kentucky professor who kissed the door goodbye and slammed his wife as he went by?

Half-moon: Astronomy Professor: What causes a half-moon? Student: When you can't get your jeans over your thighs.

ASK ABBY: Dear Abby,I am a sailor in the New Zealand Navy. My parents live in the suburb of Seatoun and one of my sisters, who lives in Palmerston North, is married to an Australian. My mother and father have r

NEW UNIVERSITY PROMOS: BROWN: Hey kids! Is half of your head shaved? Do you have a nose ring? Are you terribly progressive and do you have a lot of empathy? Are you sick and tired of silly things like grades and majors? COM