Barely graduated: One day 2 guys who had just BARELY graduated highschool decided to go to college. Now, these boys weren't too bright but they had a lot of money. So they go to the counselors office to see what classe

Other hand: The college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and that there would be

Worth while: YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN COLLEGE TOO LONG WHEN...* You consider McDonald's "real food"* You actually like doing laundry at home* 4:00 AM is still early on the weekends* It starts getting late on the we

To show up: There's a guy from UGA driving from Athens to Atlanta, and a guy from Tech driving from Atlanta to Athens. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and bo

Cum again: It's Mark's first time visiting a whorehouse. He rings the bell and a beautiful woman answers the door and invites him in.Mark goes upstairs with the beautiful girl. As she starts taking down his pant

Home for Lunch: At an art exhibition two women were staring at a painting entitled, "Home for Lunch." The painting was of three very naked, and very black men, sitting on a park bench. What was unusual was that the m

Duke university: This past fall semester, at Duke University, there were two sophomores who were taking Organic Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes, midterms, labs, etc. Going into the final exam,

The Lion Sleeps Tonight: The Weenie Whacker SongTo the tune of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"In the bedroom...the quiet bedroomThe Bobbitt sleeps tonight...In the kitchen...the downstairs kitchenLoraina grabs her knife... (chorus)

You tell me: Joe, a college student, was taking a course in ornithology, the study of birds. The night before the biggest test of the semester, Joe spent all night studying. He had the textbook nearly memorized. H

Foreign language: A mother mouse and a baby mouse were walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacked them. The mother mouse goes, "BARK!" and the cat runs away."See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do yo

H to O!: TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"! TEACHER: What are you talking about? SARAH: Yesterday you said its H to O!

Outside layer: Teacher: What’s the outside layer of a tree called, Tommy? Tommy: Don’t Know. Teacher: Bark, Tommy. Tommy: Woof, Woof.

Anything?: A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly."I would do anything to pass this exam," she says.She leans closer to him, flips

NO comet: Called to the scene of a magnificent celestial display, the professor watched as a bright object dashed through the skies over New Mexico. When he returned to his observatory, reporters asked him if w

Give him another chance: A college's student body is composed of the sons and daughters of the very rich who could not meet the academic requirements of any other college. Lo and behold, the college basketball team wins every

Common: Q: What do college students and deer have in common?A: They both stand in the middle of the road and stare at your headlights.

Unlit match: A college friend was going to meet a young lady he new."An old flame? I asked.He winked and said, "More like an unlit match."

My motto: “Now my motto in life,

Observant: Three college professors were driving down the highway at a very slow speed. A policeman pulled them over and explained that driving so slowly on the highway could be hazardous. The driver pointed out

Any quesitions?: The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught b

Which tire was flat?: High school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire. Much to their relief she smiled and said: "Well, you missed a

Won't work: A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked. “What’s the problem Carol? I hope it’s not homework again.”“Well, uh, yes, it is,

No sir!: Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

Misbehaved: Seven-year-old John had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.Two days later his teacher phone his mother to tell her that John was misbehaving."Wait a minute," said the mother. "I had

Write anything: A fifth grader class was on an educational trip. As they rode along in the school bus, the teacher noticed that one boy was lying facedown in the aisle of the bus with his hands over his eyes. “Why ar