On account of rain: Teacher: Class, you have 30 minutes to write a composition on the subject of Baseball.Jonah: Here’s my paper.Teacher: Jonah, you spent only one minute writing your essay.Lets hear what you wrote.Jonah

Construct a sentence: A schoolteacher asked her primary six class to construct sentences with the words: defeat, detail, defense.There was a pause before a pupil raised his hand and said he could make a sentence with them;

Huge hands sir: If I had eight apples in my right hand and ten apples in my left hand, what would I have?”“Huge hands, sir.

Lollipops: An elementary school teacher, well versed in educational jargon, asked for a small allotment of money for “behavior modification reinforces.”Her superior saw the item and asked, “What in heaven’s name

He died: The teacher was warning the class about the dangers of going to in cold weather insufficiently clad. “There was one a boy,

Either: “It’s no good, sir,

Home making: Rather strict English teacher also had the responsibility of teaching “homemaking,

Fill out this form: A man walked up to a school and said "can you teach me to reed and write"The administrator said, "Yes we can, just fill out this form".

Difference: Do you know the difference between Inlaws and Outlaws ?Outlaws are always wanted.

Favourite pizza: What is a dog's favorite pizza? - PUParonni!!What monster can jump higher than a house? - All of them, houses can't jump!Why don't fish play tennis? - They're scared of the net!What did the monkey say

I was naked: A new pastor just starting at a church went to one of the Elders home to meet him. Everything was fine until he got there. He knocked on the door a couple of times but no anwer. He could tell someone

Aarat: Q: What did the cat say when he got off the ark?A: Is that Aarat?

No brain: One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom. The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children. The teacher asked a little boy: Tommy do you see the tree outside? TOMMY: Yes. Do you

Gentle man: You might be a redneck if...you think the last four words of the Star Spangled Banner are"Gentlemen, start your engines!"

Repaint: Once there was a pastor, and he wanted to paint his church. But all he had was one bucket of paint. So he got a bunch of buckets and some water, and he thinned the paint enough to cover the entire chu

Hamburger: There was this young boy. As he was leaving to go to church, his mother gave him a dollar for the collection plate. On the way, he passed a hamburger stand, and bought a hamburger with the offering mo

Cool off: There were 3 men walking in the in the dessert and they each got to carry one thing. One man asked the other what he chose to bring and why he chose it. He said that he brought a water jug in case he

Invite: A young mother decided to host a dinner party, and invited 6 couples and their children.She worked very hard, and by the time the guests arrived, she was exhausted. When it was time to say the blessin

AMAZING RESULTS OF STATISTICS: 1. Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed.2. All polar bears are left-handed.3. If your car is stolen, there's a 10 percent chance it was taken by a Polar bear. 1. 39 percent of unemployed men

INTIMITATE WITH A GHOST: A professor at the University is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks them, "How many folk here believe in ghosts?"About 80 students raise their hands. "That's

FIRST LECTURE ON AUTOPSIES: A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting. "You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The

REALLY FUNNY SCIENCE EXAMPLES: These are actual excerpts from student science exam papers: The dodo is a bird that is almost decent by now. To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quic

KNOW IT ALL: It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, Toshiba, entered the fourth grade. The teacher greeted the class and said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American

WRITING HOME WITH EASE: Dear Parent(s), Date: I am too busy to write, but this checklist covers most of the topics of interest to both of us.Please send me: __ Money (Cash) Amount: _______ Food (Cookies) Dozens: _______ Clea

DUBLIN WAZZUP: 1. If you have ever price shopped for Top Ramen, you might be a college student. 2. If you live in a house with three couches, none of which match.3. If you consider Mac and Cheese a balanced meal.4.