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TIPS FOR SURVIVING COLLEGE |
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| * Minimize food budget by scheduling classes around Happy Hour.* Enjoy being a Sophomore -- It will be the best three years of your life. * Wear an athletic cup to panty raids, because it's all fun and games until someone loses their 'nads.* Lemon juice and baking soda make an excellent bong water stain remover.* Earn extra cash by parlaying chemistry knowledge into lucrative "home pharmaceuticals" business.* If an 8:00 am class is required for your major, change your major. * Boring lecture? Start a wave!* College-level algebra: 5 returnable bottles = 1 delicious Ramen Noodle dinner.* "I Phelta Thi" is *not* a real fraternity, except at state colleges.* Remember - almost no one complains when you puke in a dumpster. * Clever margin manipulation can turn a 4-page outline into a 100-page senior essay.* Football games were never meant to be observed by sober people.* Don't think of it as sleeping with your professor -- think of it as "acing Biology." * In a pinch, milk can be used as a beer substitute in your breakfast cereal. |
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Previous: WAYS TO GET THROWN OUT OF CHEMISTRY LAB |
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Next: COLLEGE FOOTBALL: NORTH VS. SOUTH |
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