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THE PROFESSOR SAYS... |
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| When professors say this . . .they really mean this!* this needs some minor revision. - i never actually got around to reading this.* my office hours are by appointment only. - i like to get out of here early.* ten percent of your grade is based on class participation. - i'll be fudging your grades.* this won't be on the test. - nap time!* bring the text to class. - i don't have a clue how to lecture--we'll just kill time with group read-along.* he's not fully up to speed on that. - he's got his head up his ass.* i don't have the latest department guidelines. - i've got my head up my ass.* let's check with dr. so-and-so on that before we proceed. - i've got my head up his ass.* talk to the department secretary. - piss off.* talk to me in my office after class. - get out of my face.* the tests will all be multiple-choice. - i take questions directly from the study guide and have grad students do all my grading.* don't come in late during my lecture. - i have the attention span of a fruit fly.* save your questions until the end. - see above.* the final will be comprehensive. - i'll expect you to recapitulate in two hours everything i couldn't fully cover myself in 15 weeks.* everyone will prepare in-class oral presentations. - this course is outside my specialty--i'll just bluff it and let you teach.* there are two tas available to help you. - i can't be bothered.* this year i'll be scaling the grades. - i just passed tenure review.* let's break up into quiet discussion groups. - i have a hangover.* let's have class outdoors today! - i had beans for lunch.* you won't be able to sell back the text to the bookstore. - my contract wasn't picked up.* please note the last day to withdraw. - the midterm's gonna suck.* the answer to number 4 is "b," and just skip number 17. - i only got around to making up the test last night.* the second list is optional reading. - i have a rich fantasy life.* i haven't had a chance to make up the syllabus for this course yet. - the a****** department chair stuck me with teaching this course at the last possible minute.* well, it was on the syllabus. - i'll hold you responsible for this even though i forgot about it myself.* we'll just skip the term paper this semester. - there wasn't enough in the budget for a ta.* bring a number 2 pencil to the exam. - see above.* attendance is required and will be counted in your grade. - i'm so boring that no one would show up otherwise.* read chapters 5 through 10. - i'm not coming in at all next week.* we'll have to cover this chapter quickly. - i screwed up the lecture schedule.* let's go over the exam. - half of you failed.* it was in the textbook. - i pulled it out of my ass.* extra credit is available. - i need some s*** work done. |
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