Gauge: How do you measure a Villanova graduate's I.Q.?With a tire gauge.

Kiss: Did you hear about the Western Kentucky professor who kissed the door goodbye and slammed his wife as he went by?

Half-moon: Astronomy Professor: What causes a half-moon? Student: When you can't get your jeans over your thighs.

May be: "Professor, I hear your wife has had twins. Boys or girls?" "Well, I believe one is a girl and one is a boy but it may be the other way around."

Mirror: Did you hear about the Louisiana Tech professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours, wondering where he'd seen himself before?

Heaven: Professor: Heavens! Someone stole my wallet! Wife: Didn't you feel a hand in your pocket?Professor Yes, but I thought it was mine!

Purdue: Why don't Purdue athletes eat pickles? They can't get their heads in the jar.

Researcher: Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night? He was trying to find a cure for insomnia.

Aggie: Why does a Texas Aggie keep his fly open? In case he has to count to eleven.

Knowledge: What does the N on the Nebraska football helmet stand for? "Knowledge."

Mowing: How do you know a Brigham Young student's been mowing the lawn? The welcome mat is destroyed.