FIRST LECTURE ON AUTOPSIES: A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting. "You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The

REALLY FUNNY SCIENCE EXAMPLES: These are actual excerpts from student science exam papers: The dodo is a bird that is almost decent by now. To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quic

KNOW IT ALL: It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, Toshiba, entered the fourth grade. The teacher greeted the class and said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American

WRITING HOME WITH EASE: Dear Parent(s), Date: I am too busy to write, but this checklist covers most of the topics of interest to both of us.Please send me: __ Money (Cash) Amount: _______ Food (Cookies) Dozens: _______ Clea

DUBLIN WAZZUP: 1. If you have ever price shopped for Top Ramen, you might be a college student. 2. If you live in a house with three couches, none of which match.3. If you consider Mac and Cheese a balanced meal.4.

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?: It was the final examination for an introductory Biology course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 500 students in the clas

ENGLISH IS A STUPID LANGUAGE: Let's face it, English is a stupid language. There is no egg in the eggplant. No ham in the hamburger. And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England. And Fr

COLLEGE HABITS TO BRING HOME: 1. Try to use your dorm key to unlock your bedroom door.2. Have your mom scan your ID card for meals.3. Look for a tray to carry your dinner to the table with.4. Walk two blocks to go to dinner.5. For

BEEN IN COLLEGE TOO LONG WHEN...: You consider McDonald's "real food." You actually like doing laundry at home.4:00 AM is still early on the weekends.It starts getting late on the weeknights.Two miles is not too far to walk for a part

ORGAN THAT EXPANDS TEN TIMES: Sixth grade science teacher Mrs. Samson asks her class: "Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?" Nobody raises a hand, so she calls on the fi

RULES FOR COLLEGE ROOMMATES: 1. If someone calls while you are on the phone, do not answer the call waiting signals, after all your conversation to your boyfriend's, cousin's, sister's, ex-best friend's, father-in-law's, stepson