SIGNS YOU'RE SUFFERING FROM SEMESTER BURNOUT: * You're so tired, that you now answer the phone, "Hell" instead of Hello.* Mom calls to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, "Get off my back, bitch!"* When your parents inquire about you

THE COLLEGE DRINKER'S ALPHABET: A- alcohol: the key to surviving college.b- beer: it's whats for dinner.c- class: what you're supposed to get up and go to after a thursday night party.d- dancing: a favorite pastime of almost every d

FAVORITE PASTIME: For his final project in a statistics class, a student decided to conduct a survey. So it wouldn't be a boring project, he chose to find out peoples' favorite pastimes.The teacher required that he sam

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE FINALS: 'Twas the night before finals,And all through the college,The students were prayingFor last-minute knowledge.Most were quite sleepy,But none touched their beds,While visions of essaysDanced in their h

WAYS THE BIBLE WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF WRITTEN BY: * The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning - cold.* The Ten Commandments are actually only five, double-spaced, and written in a large font.* New edition every two years in order to limi

THE PROFESSOR SAYS...: When professors say this . . .they really mean this!* this needs some minor revision. - i never actually got around to reading this.* my office hours are by appointment only. - i like to get out of he

STORKS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN: Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's on

HIGH SCHOOL VS. COLLEGE: * In high school, you do homework. In college, you study.* No food is allowed in the hall in high school. In college, food must be provided at an event before students will come.* In high school, you

TWO AUBURN GRADS: Two Auburn grads had bought a couple of horses that they used to make some money during the summer. But when winter came, they found that it cost too much to board them. So they turned the horses loos

THE HANDS OF TIME: The rules at a particular university were such that if the professor were not present in the classroom by 15 minutes past the hour, the class was considered a "walk" and the students were free to leav

COLLEGE SEX SURVEY: A professor, teaching a college sexuality class, was discussing the frequency of sex that could still be considered normal. "Many people find that sex every other week is sufficient frequency to satis