WAYS TO GET THROWN OUT OF CHEMISTRY LAB: * Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others.* Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, "Does this taste funny to you?"* Consistently write th

TIPS FOR SURVIVING COLLEGE: * Minimize food budget by scheduling classes around Happy Hour.* Enjoy being a Sophomore -- It will be the best three years of your life. * Wear an athletic cup to panty raids, because it's all fun an

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: NORTH VS. SOUTH: WOMEN'S ATTIREUp North: Chapstick in their back pocket and a $20 bill in their front pocket. Down South: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, powder, mascara (waterproof), concealer, and a bottle

HELL: A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a

PROFESSOR'S DEFINITIONS OF A KISS: Professors of different subjects define the same word in different ways:Prof. of Computer Science:A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.Prof. of Algebra:A kiss is two divided by nothing.Pr

THE COLLEGE DICTIONARY: CAFETERIA: From 2 Latin words, "cafe" meaning place to eat and "teria" meaning to wretch.MAJOR: Area of study that no longer interest you.STUDENT ATHLETE: See "contradiction in terms."GRADE: Unr

SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE: Dear Dad,$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I

IT PAYS TO STUDY: After the college boy delivered the pizza to Bud's trailer house, Bud asked, "What is the usual tip?""Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter o

ADMISSIONS TEST: Several colleges have started a pilot program that uses a simple group experiment with Legos as a replacement for the standard admissions test. The group must recreate a model of a robot in the next r

ASK ABBY: Dear Abby,I am a sailor in the New Zealand Navy. My parents live in the suburb of Seatoun and one of my sisters, who lives in Palmerston North, is married to an Australian. My mother and father have r

NEW UNIVERSITY PROMOS: BROWN: Hey kids! Is half of your head shaved? Do you have a nose ring? Are you terribly progressive and do you have a lot of empathy? Are you sick and tired of silly things like grades and majors? COM