The Lion Sleeps Tonight: The Weenie Whacker SongTo the tune of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"In the bedroom...the quiet bedroomThe Bobbitt sleeps tonight...In the kitchen...the downstairs kitchenLoraina grabs her knife... (chorus)

You tell me: Joe, a college student, was taking a course in ornithology, the study of birds. The night before the biggest test of the semester, Joe spent all night studying. He had the textbook nearly memorized. H

Foreign language: A mother mouse and a baby mouse were walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacked them. The mother mouse goes, "BARK!" and the cat runs away."See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do yo

H to O!: TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"! TEACHER: What are you talking about? SARAH: Yesterday you said its H to O!

Outside layer: Teacher: What’s the outside layer of a tree called, Tommy? Tommy: Don’t Know. Teacher: Bark, Tommy. Tommy: Woof, Woof.

Anything?: A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly."I would do anything to pass this exam," she says.She leans closer to him, flips

NO comet: Called to the scene of a magnificent celestial display, the professor watched as a bright object dashed through the skies over New Mexico. When he returned to his observatory, reporters asked him if w

Give him another chance: A college's student body is composed of the sons and daughters of the very rich who could not meet the academic requirements of any other college. Lo and behold, the college basketball team wins every

Common: Q: What do college students and deer have in common?A: They both stand in the middle of the road and stare at your headlights.

Unlit match: A college friend was going to meet a young lady he new."An old flame? I asked.He winked and said, "More like an unlit match."

My motto: “Now my motto in life,