Spring: Vovochka asks the teacher:- Why is that: two halves of my pen screw and they don't have any children? The teacher is furious and she runs to the director. He comes to the class and Vovochka repeats hi

Positions: A professor goes along the corridor of the college. A student approaches him: "Good morning, professor. May I ask you?" "Sure." "Tell me, please, when you go to bed where do you put your beard on or u

Abortion: Exams in an agricultural institute. Professor tells a student:"Well, I see that you don't know anything. But you have a last chance. Answer the question: is it possible to make abortion to a cow? Go p

Russian school: One day an officer is visiting a Russian school. He comes up to little Lovya."Who is your mother, little boy?""Mother Russia.""And who is your father?""Comrade Stalin.""And what do you want to be when

After all: A son says to his mother, "I am not going to school any more!""Why, my son?""You know, again Ivanov will hit me on the nose with a textbook, and Vasiliev will spit into my tea, and Petrov will shoot a

Ammunities: Right after the end of WWII children are describing what they did during the war.- I helped the soldiers carry ammunitions!- I brought them dinners!Vovochka:- And I once hit a tank!Everyone is amused.

Legalize: A coed is asked:- What will it take you to organize a whorehouse in your dorm?- 2 kopecks (0.02 roubles) and 1 minute. To make a phone call there and say: Girls! We are legalized!

My pants: In a school, a female teacher asked a student, "Ivanov, why did you miss two days in class?""Day before yesterday, my mother was laundering my pants.""And what about yesterday?""I walked by your house

Converse: Question: Our teacher told us every student must do something big and pure. What could you suggest? Answer: Go to a Zoo and wash an elephant.

Teacher: A teacher in the class on the ancient history asked a student,"Who was the first man on the earth?""Adam.""And to what severe punishment had God subjected him?""Eve."

Exemplary behavior: A mother talks to her son, "You must be ashamed, son. Your teachers keep complaining. Why won't you follow the example of your father?""But he's in jail.""Yes, but he wrote in his letter that his term