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College Jokes

THE STUDENT'S ANSWER: The student - not necessarily a well-prepared student - sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed: "Give four advantages of breast milk." W

MIT: The following is an exact transcription of a letter John Mongan received from MIT, and the reply that he sent them. Unfortunately, they chose to discontinue their correspondence at that point. I have

ZOOLOGY TEST: A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day. As he entered the classroom, he saw ten stands with ten birds on them. Each bird had a sack over its head; o

MONEY FROM HOME: A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out of it. His mom said, "Sure, sweetie. I'll will send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when

WAYS TO GET THROWN OUT OF CHEMISTRY LAB: * Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others.* Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, "Does this taste funny to you?"* Consistently write th

TIPS FOR SURVIVING COLLEGE: * Minimize food budget by scheduling classes around Happy Hour.* Enjoy being a Sophomore -- It will be the best three years of your life. * Wear an athletic cup to panty raids, because it's all fun an

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: NORTH VS. SOUTH: WOMEN'S ATTIREUp North: Chapstick in their back pocket and a $20 bill in their front pocket. Down South: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, powder, mascara (waterproof), concealer, and a bottle

HELL: A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a

PROFESSOR'S DEFINITIONS OF A KISS: Professors of different subjects define the same word in different ways:Prof. of Computer Science:A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.Prof. of Algebra:A kiss is two divided by nothing.Pr

THE COLLEGE DICTIONARY: CAFETERIA: From 2 Latin words, "cafe" meaning place to eat and "teria" meaning to wretch.MAJOR: Area of study that no longer interest you.STUDENT ATHLETE: See "contradiction in terms."GRADE: Unr

SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE: Dear Dad,$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I

 
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