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Family Jokes

Money for furniture: A woman filed for divorce. The reason: her husband did not satisfy her sexual needs."Tell your side of the story," the judge said to the husband."When we just married," the husband said, "my wife said

A Boy Discovers Breasts: A small boy walks into his mother's room and catches her topless. "Mommy! Mommy! What are those?" He says, pointing to her breasts. "Well, son," she explains, "These are ballons, and when you die, the

Deeply inebriated.: A man returned home deeply inebriated."Again, you miserable drunkard," his wife said. "Just this morning you promised that you'd stop drinking and would love me.""Right," the husband said. "I'm really

Leaving for work: Before leaving for work, a man said to his wife, "How many times did I say to you, don't sleep with your legs apart. One day your liver may fall out."Next day, she apparently forgot the husband's warn

Exactly right: Once a husband and a wife argued about cooking. The wife insisted that potatoes must be cooked with only one teaspoon of salt per pan, while the husband thought that two spoons would be better. The hu

Is it you: A man came home from a business trip. He went to bed with his wife. In the middle of night, some noise under the bed woke him. He extended his hand toward the floor and said. "Is it you, Lassy?""Yes,"

Lowlife coward: "How has your latest altercation with your wife ended?" a man asked his friend."Oh, she had to crawl to me on her knees," the friend said proudly."And what did she say?""Get out from under the bed, yo

Indeed jackets darling: A man came home earlier than usual, when his wife's lover was still in the apartment. She hid the lover in a closet, and served dinner. As they ate, something rustled in the closet."What's that?" the

One hundred: On a train, a Georgian is traveling with his wife. In the same compartment travel two physicians. Hour after hour, the wife is nagging her husband, not letting him to say a word in response. Then she

Fishing trip: Early in the morning, a man set out for a fishing trip. Before he left his wife said, "Stay home. It's raining out there, and windy."The husband did not answer, and walked out. When he was in the stre

Full of butter: A man left for a business trip. As he had long suspected his wife in being unfaithful to him, he placed under their conjugal bed a jar with sour cream and hung a spoon above the jar. If one person res

 
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