FAMILY HISTORY: One day a sweet little girl becomes puzzled about her origin. "How did I get here, Mommy?" she asks.Her mother replies, using a well-worn phrase, "Why God sent you, Honey.""And did God send you too, M HAM SANDWICH: As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried A TEENAGER IS...: - A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.- A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.- A youngster who receives her allowance o PUNISHMENT TO FIT THE CRIME: One day mom was cleaning junior’s room and in the closet she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her.She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him.He look MOTHER SAYS: Throughout the centuries, mothers have been given their children plenty of good advice and notable quotes. Here's just a small sampling:PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to CUSTOMS INSPECTION: After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me - all under age 11. Collecting LIGHTS OUT FOR THE CAMERONS: The Cameron children are the sort of kids who really light up a room, and then are content to leave it lit until all the electricity in the country has flowed through our circuits and out into the nig RESIGNATION: I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four sta THINGS ONLY A MOM CAN TEACH: My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION ..."Just wait until your father gets home."My Mother taught me about RECEIVING ..."You are going to get it when we get home!"My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLE ANATOMY OF A MOTHER: THE HEAD -- Often covered with hair, the head should have all the essential parts:EARS -- Ears should be well-placed, incredibly attuned to a child's uttering- i.e. "you suck! EQUAL BUT NOT THE SAME: "Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same." Men and women are created equal. But, boys and girls are not born the same.1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You thr |