A man and Satan: A man walked into a shop selling dress fabrics and said, "I'd like 6 meters of pink Satan for my wife." "It's satin, sir, not Satan," said assistant. "Satan is something that looks like the devil." My wife has a slight impediment in her speech: My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every so often, she has to stop to breathe. Two men: First man: My wife eats like a bird. Second man: You mean she hardly eats a thing? First man: No, she eats slugs and worms. Two Cannibal: First cannibal: My wife's a tough old bird. Second cannibal: You should have left her in the oven for another half an hour. What did the executioner say to his wife?: What did the executioner say to his wife? Only thirty chopping days to Christmas. Sheepdog: A salesman was trying to persuade a housewife to buy a life assurance policy. "Just imagine, if your husband were to die," he said. "What would you get?" "Oh a sheepdog, I think," replied the wife. "T Mr. and Mrs. Smith: Mr. and Mrs. Smith were always fighting. Then one morning as Mrs. Smith was going to the bank she was knocked down by a hit and run driver. A police officer rushed up and asked her if she'd taken the Latest scandalous revelations about a Hollywood: Two friends were discussing the latest scandalous revelations about a Hollywood actress. "They say she likes her latest husband so much she's decided to keep him for another month," said one to the ot Fred and his girl friend: When Fred proposed to his girl friend she said, "I love the simple things in life, Wally, but I don't want one of them for a husband Two Cannibal: First cannibal: I don't know what to make of my husband these days. Second cannibal: How about a curry? Trace my family: Ronnie: I can trace my family tree way back. Bonnie: Yes, back to the time you lived in it! |