Aunt Edna: My Aunt Edna is so fat, Uncle Tom has to stand up in bed each morning to see if it's daylight.

Double chins: My Aunt Helen has got so many double chins it looks like she is peering over a pile of pancakes.

Slug in your aunt's bed?: Mother: Fred, why did you put a slug in your aunt's bed? Fred: Because I couldn't find a snake.

Stern aunt: A rather had been staying with Fred's parents, and one day she said to the little girl, "Well, Fred, I'm going tomorrow. Are you sorry?" "Oh yes, Auntie," replied Fred, "I thought you were going tod

Aunt Maud for lunch: Girl: We had Aunt Maud for lunch last Sunday. Boy: Really? We had roast beef.

Cannibal spider: Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an anteater.

Brown and Madam: Good morning, Brown, Brown, Brown, and Brown? Yes, madam. May I speak to Mr. Brown, please? I'm so sorry, Mr. Brown is away sick today. Oh, then may I speak to Mr. Brown, please? Mr. Brown is on holid

Judgement: 'What do you mean you only have one brother?' demanded the judge. 'Your sister has testified under oath that she has two.'

Why can't her brother help her up?: When a girl falls over, why can't her brother help her up? Because he can't be a brother and assist her (a sister) too.

My little brother is a real pain.: Fred: My little brother is a real pain. Harry: Things could be worse. Fred: How? Harry: He could be a twin.

Sister Margaret: Sister Margaret was a model nun all of her life, until she was called to get her just rewards. As she approached the pearly gates, Saint Peter said "Hold on, Sister Margaret...not so fast!" "But I hav