What did the executioner say to his wife?: What did the executioner say to his wife? Only thirty chopping days to Christmas.

Sheepdog: A salesman was trying to persuade a housewife to buy a life assurance policy. "Just imagine, if your husband were to die," he said. "What would you get?" "Oh a sheepdog, I think," replied the wife. "T

Mr. and Mrs. Smith: Mr. and Mrs. Smith were always fighting. Then one morning as Mrs. Smith was going to the bank she was knocked down by a hit and run driver. A police officer rushed up and asked her if she'd taken the

Latest scandalous revelations about a Hollywood: Two friends were discussing the latest scandalous revelations about a Hollywood actress. "They say she likes her latest husband so much she's decided to keep him for another month," said one to the ot

Fred and his girl friend: When Fred proposed to his girl friend she said, "I love the simple things in life, Wally, but I don't want one of them for a husband

Two Cannibal: First cannibal: I don't know what to make of my husband these days. Second cannibal: How about a curry?

Trace my family: Ronnie: I can trace my family tree way back. Bonnie: Yes, back to the time you lived in it!

Four-parent family.: On the first day at school the children were sizing each other up and boasting, trying to make good impressions on each other. "I come from a one-parent family," said one little girl proudly. "That's

Two girls: At a very Ivy-league school the girls were discussing their family pets. "We've got a beautiful spaniel at our place," said one girl. "Does it have a pedigree?" asked another. "It does on its mother's

King Kong?: Lee: Our family's descended from royalty. Dee: King Kong?

Octopus: Girl: Do you know what family the octopus belongs to? Boy: No one in our street.