Guns don't kill....: Guns don't kill people. Texans kill people.

Gumor's Orifice Confusion: Gumor said to Selma. Selma can I put my finger in your bellybutton? Selma said "No." Gumor asked her again Selma can I put my finger in your bellybutton? Selma said "No." Gumor asks her again Selma ca

Greg Norman: Why do women like making love to Greg Norman, the Australian golfer? Because he always finishes second!

Greeting the Queen: What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton? You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.

The Pizza: An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food. The concierge te

The Polish Navy: Q: How do you sink a Polish ship? A: Put it in water.

The Polish Passenger: A Polish man was taking a flight on a commercial airliner. The airliner had 4 engines, which is quite normal. About an hour into the flight, a loud BOOM occurred. The flight attendant came over the in

The Potty Wisdom of Confucious: Confucious say, 'It's better to be pissed off than to be pissed on!'

The Scott's Pocket Watch: These two Scottish characters are chatting. One of them then pulls out an expensive looking pocket watch from his pocket to check the time. "That's a fine watch you got there!" says the other. "Yeah i

The Businessman's Medical Problem: A businessman returns from the Far East. After a few days he notices strange growth on his penis. He sees several doctors. They all say: “You've been screwing around in the Far East, very common there

The Amputated P.O.W.: An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him, “Englander, your arm is infected with gangrene vee must