In a Tokyo shop:: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

From a Japanese information booklet: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Difference: Q: What's the difference between England and a tea bag? A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

Lead: Q. Why has Kevin keegan banned his players from owning dogs?A. Because they can't hang onto a lead.

England football team: The Sultan of Brunei was getting a bit cheesed off as he had 6 children, all girls, and therefore had no son and heir. Imagine his joy then, when one of his wives presented him with his only son and h

Baseball games: Three women were sitting around and bragging about their children. The first one says, "you know, my son, he graduated first in his class from Stanford. He's now a doctor, making $250,000 a year in Ch

Concentrate: Why did the blond stare at the bottle of orange juice for 2 hours? It said on the label "concentrate".

8 things you'll never hear a man say :: 8. Here honey, you use the remote. 7. You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.6. Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see! 5. While I'm up, can I

8 things you'll never hear a woman say :: 8. What do you mean today's our anniversary? 7. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV. 6. Ohhhhhh, this diamond is wayyyyyyyyy tooooooo big! 5. Can our relationship get a lit

My mother had passed away: Judi goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss concerned about all his employees well being asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" To which the blonde replies, "Early this morning