In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:: Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

On the menu of a Polish hotel:: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In a Japanese hotel:: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a hotel in Athens:: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Paris hotel elevator:: Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.