8 things you'll never hear a woman say :: 8. What do you mean today's our anniversary? 7. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV. 6. Ohhhhhh, this diamond is wayyyyyyyyy tooooooo big! 5. Can our relationship get a lit

My mother had passed away: Judi goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss concerned about all his employees well being asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" To which the blonde replies, "Early this morning

Our tent: Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky.Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see?" "Well, I see thou

Hardware store: A man of Polish ancestry walked up to the counter and asked for a Polish Meatball Sandwich. The man at the counter said, "What a Pollack." The Polish man said, "I resent that. If a Jew came to your co

Say it slowly: * Two blondes were on a road trip.they passed through Matasheuchetts , Louisiana.The two blondes started argueing about how to pronounce the name of the city.Finnaly they turned into a fast food resta

Formal introduction: A handsome American Army captain, assigned to the American Embassy's military attache office in London, was shopping in Harrod's during his lunch hour and got the hungries.He went to the cafeteria, lo

U.S. AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT: I, Zoomie, swear to sign away four years of my useless life to the United States Air Force because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army and because the Marines frighten me. I swear to sit behind a de

U.S. ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT: I, Rambo, swear to sign away four years of my mediocre life to the United States Army because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines,

U.S. NAVY OATH OF ALLEGIANCE: I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away four years of my life to the United States Navy because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I

U.S. MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT: I, ________________ (state name here), swear...uhhhh...high-and-tight... grunt... cammies... ugh... Air Force women.... HOORAH! So help me Corps. Thumb Print:___________________ Date:______________

Red china: Q: Did you hear about the new American Express Card they are issuing in Red China?A: You never leave home.