My purse: Defendant: Did you get a good look at me when I allegedly stole your purse?Victim: Yes, I saw you clearly. You are the one who stole my purse.Defendant: I should have shot you while I had the chance.

I'm sorry: Defendant: Judge, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.Judge: And why is that?Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn't interested in my case.Judge (to Public Defender): Do you have a comment on

The fight: Lawyer: Tell us about the fight.Witness: I didn't see any fight.Lawyer: Well, tell us what you did see.Witness: I went to a dance at the Turner house, and as the men swung around and changed partners,

Honorable: Judge: Please identify yourself for the record.Defendant: Colonel Ebenezer Jackson.Judge: What does the 'Colonel' stand for?Defendant: Well, it's kind like the 'Honorable' in front of your name - not

Thirstiness: Judge: You are charged with habitual drunkenness. Have you anything to say in your defense?Defendant: Habitual thirstiness?

I think: Defendant: Can I address the court?Judge: Of course.Defendant: If I called you a son of a bitch, what would you do?Judge: I'd hold you in contempt and assess an additional five days in jail.Defendant:

How Far Was It?: At a trial, an attorney was putting witnesses through an exacting cross-examination, and was taking great delight into forcing witnesses to admit that they did not remember every single detail of an a

Merry Christmas: Please accept without obligation, express or implied, these best wishes for an environmentally safe, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, and gender neutral celebration of the winter solst

Advice From A Lawyer Is Worth....: George and Lenny decide to cross North America in a hot air balloon. However, neither were particularly experienced balloonists, and Lenny's mind quickly drifted from navigation to thoughts of how clo

Farmer John's Mule: Farmer John was injured when a truck hit his pick-up, and he filed a lawsuit against the driver who hit him. When the case went to trial, the truck driver's big city lawyer questioned farmer John."Aft

The Brass Rat: A man, visiting San Francisco, noticed a musty curio shop, which seemed to be forgotten by time. It seemed very out of place in the busy city. The man's curiosity was piqued, and he entered the shop.