Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr: IT WAS SO COLD THIS MORNING I SAW A LAWYER WITH HIS HANDS IN HIS OWN POCKETS.

Never judge a book by the cover: A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering that beat. He stopped the car and asked, "Why, Mike, this wou

Charitable lawyer: A man doing telephone solicitations for a local charity called up a prominent and wealthy lawyer and asked him for a modest donation. The lawyer became incensed at the request and said to his caller:

Common: Q. What do a lawyer and a prostitute have in common?A. They both screw people out of money.

Santa Claus: Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down a street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred-dollar bill. Who gets it?A: The old drunk, of course, the

Research: Q: Why have scientists begun to use lawyers instead of lab rats for research?A: Two reasons: first, they are more plentiful than rats, second, the researchers don't get as attached to them.One problem

Car: After their car broke down on a lonely country road, three men sought a night's shelter at a farmhouse. The farmer, poor but eager to help them, said that he only had two beds so one of the three woul

Tick: What's the difference between a lawyer and a tick?A tick drops off you when you die.

Lawyer and vulture: Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? A: Wings.

Snake: Q. What is the difference between a poisonous snake and a lawyer?A. You can make a pet out of the snake.God probably ran out of molds for weasels when he was creating the Heavens and the Earth, so he

Sandwiches: Two lawyers went into a diner and ordered two drinks. They then produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can'