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Lawyer Jokes

Bear With Me....: A very wealthy lawyer vacationed for several weeks each year at his summer home in the backwoods of Maine. Each summer, he would invite friends to come to visit him. One summer he invited a lawyer fro

Warning Signs that you Might Need a Different Lawy: •Your lawyer tells you that his last good case was of Budweiser. •When the prosecutors see your lawyer, they high-five each other. •Your lawyer picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose." •Your lawye

Hunting Season: Washington State Attorney Season and Bag Limits1400.01 General 1.Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys. 2.Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permit

Do You Serve....: A man walked into a bar, leading an alligator by a leash. He asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?""Sure do," said the bartender."Good," replied the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a la

Deer Tracks?: Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a pair of tracks. They stopped and examined the tracks closely. The first lawyer announced, "Those are deer tracks. It's deer season, so we should foll

I Have To Sleep With What?: Chicago sent its police chief, fire chief, and city attorney to a municipal management conference in Indiana. While driving through a rural area, their car broke down, and they sought assistance at a

By death: Attorney: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?Witness: By death.Attorney: And by whose death was it terminated?

That's me: Attorney: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?Witness: That's me.Attorney: Were you present when that picture was taken?

What were you doing at that time?: Attorney: Do you know how far you are pregnant now?Witness: I'll be three months on November 8.Attorney: Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8?Witness: Yes.Attorney: What were you doing

Too critical to answer: Attorney: Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?Attorney: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?Attorney: Were you alone or by yourself?Attorney: How long have you been a Fr

Did he kill you?: Attorney: What happened then?Witness: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."Attorney: Did he kill you?

 
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