Cold: It was so cold last winter......I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

Santa Claus: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it?The old drunk, of course; the oth

Personalities: What do lawyers use for birth control? Their personalities.

LIght Bulb: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

Vampire: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?A vampire only sucks blood at night.

Gigolo: What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?A gigolo only screws one person at a time.

Cemetry: Where can you find a good lawyer?In the cemetery.

Ambulances: Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?From chasing parked ambulances.

Offer: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?An offer you can't understand.

Stick: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?Stick his bill up his ass.

Busload: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.