Choose: Your attorney and your mother-in-law are trapped in a burning building. You only have time to save one of them. Do you: (1) have lunch? or (2) go to a movie?

Flood: A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here 'cause my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for every

Jury Trial: A defendant was asked if he wanted a bench trial or a jury trial. "Jury trial," the defendant replied. "Do you understand the difference?" asked the judge. "Sure," replied the defendant, "That's wh

Enough: A law firm receptionist answered the phone the morning after the firm's senior partner had passed away unexpectedly. "Is Mr. Smith there?

Gang Robbers: A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape."It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We

Cocktail Party: A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer.The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the la

Street: A client who felt his legal bill was too high asked his lawyer to itemize costs. The statement included this item:"Was walking down the street and saw you on the other side. Walked to the corner to c

Rolex: A lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, "I love my BMW, I love my BMW." Focusing on his car, not his driving, he smashed into a tree. He miraculously survived, but his c

Senator: What do you call a judge gone badly?Senator.

Good Lawyer: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

Frustrated: A judge, bored and frustrated by a lawyer's tedious arguments, had made numerous rulings to speed the trial along. The attorney had bristled at the judge's orders, and their tempers grew hot. Finally