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Lawyer Jokes

Strong arm of the law: An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. She began to interview

A lawyer at the box office: A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I

The devil visited a lawyer's office: The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will re

A man went to a brain store: A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butc

How many lawyers...: "How many can you afford?" It only takes one to change your bulb...to his. Two. One to change it and one to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting "Objection!" Three. One to do it and two to su

You Might Be a Lawyer if...: You are charging someone for reading these jokes. You believe that a forty words' sentence is a short one. You have a daughter named Sue and a son named Bill. You can look at a contract and instantly

How lawyers do it...: Lawyers do it with appeal.Lawyers do it confidentially.Lawyers do it on a trial basis.Lawyers do it until justice prevails.Lawyers do it as long as you can pay them.Lawyers do it unless it is prohibit

Warning Signs that you Might Need a Different Lawy: He tells you that his last good case was a Budweiser. When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other. He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose." He tells you that he has

What's wrong: What's wrong with Lawyer jokes?Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes.

A man died: A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he passed sulfurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman."That

An engineer: An engineer dies and reports to hell. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air cond

 
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