Nuclear weapons: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.

With the door: A truck driver frequently traveled through a small town where there was a courthouse at the side of the road. Of course, there were always lawyers walking along the road. The truck driver made it a pr

The Preachers Mower:: A small boy was pushing a gasoline-powered lawnmower down the streetWith a "For Sale" sign on it. A man stopped him asked if the mower would run. The boy told him it would so the man bought it.A while

Alligator: A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?""Sure do," replied the bartender. "Good," said the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my '

A ROOM FOR THE NIGHT: A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said "There might be a problem; you see, I only have r

A MISCALCULATION AT THE PEARLY GATES: Joe the lawyer died suddenly, at the age of 45. He got to the gates of Heaven, and the angel standing there said, "We've been waiting a long time for you." "What do you mean," he replied, "I'm only 45

FRIVILOUS LAW SUITS BY US JAILBIRDS: A Virginia inmate tried to sue him for $5 million on the grounds that he had gotten drunk and caused himself to violate his religious beliefs by committing a crime. Because he had no money, he wanted

A defendant: A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined!""It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer. "Would it help if I sent the j

A MOST UNUSUAL DEFENCE: A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to

QUICKFIRE LAWYER GAGS: 1Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?A: His lips move2Q: What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.3Q: What

ARRIVING AT THE PEARLY GATES: Following a distinguished legal career, a man arrived at the Gates of Heaven, accompanied by the Pope, who had the misfortune to expire on the same day. The Pope was greeted first by St. Peter, who es