First pick: Why does California have the most attorneys, and New Jersey have the most toxic waste dumps? New Jersey got first pick.

Fairy tales: Humpty Dumpy, the tooth fairy, an old' drunk and an honest attorney are all walking down the street together. Simultaneously, they each spot a one hundred dollar bill lying on the sidewalk. Who gets

Contract Lawyers: How many contract lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? WHEREAS, the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereb

Appeal at once: A plaintiff lawyer had a jury trial in a very difficult business case. The client who had attended the trial was out of town when the jury came back with its decision. Verdict for Plaintiff! The lawy

Lawyer and a Catfish: What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a slimy, bottom dwelling, scum sucker. The other is a fish.

Witness: "You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand. "If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied

Drowning Lawyer: How do you save a drowning lawyer? Take your foot off his head.

Screw her: Two divorce lawyers were having drinks in a lounge after a grueling day in the courts. In walks the most stunning woman either of the lawyers had seen in a long time. One of the lawyers says, "Boy! I

Difference: What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?Mechanical Engineers build weapons,Civil Engineers build targets.

Frozen chickens: Judge: The charge here is theft of frozen chickens. Are you the defendant?Defendant: No, sir, I'm the guy who stole the chickens.

That long: Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?Juror: I don't want to be away from my job that long.Judge: Can't they do without you at work?Juror: Yes, but I don't want them t