The Spelling Test: Three people arrive at the gates of heaven and St. Peter greeted them. "Welcome to Heaven. We have simplified the process of admission, and all you need to do to get into Heaven is pass a simple test.

The Priest: After a long life, dutifully serving his parishioners, the elderly priest died. He found himself in Heaven, where he was warmly greeted by St. Peter. "Welcome," St. Peter said, "You have lived a good

Methuselah: A prominent young lawyer died on his way to court, and found himself before the gates of Heaven. When he arrived, a chorus of angels appeared, singing in his honor. St. Peter himself came out to shake

A Marriage Made In Heaven: A young couple in love were in an automobile accident the night before their wedding, and both were killed. In heaven, they approached St. Peter. "My fiance and I really miss the opportunity to have c

Bad name: The trouble with the legal profession is that 98% of its members give the rest a bad name.

3 judges: The outlook for the New Jersey economy is so bad that the mob just laid off 3 judges.

All lawyers: "Everybody in my family follows the medical profession. They're all lawyers."

The truth: One juror overheard saying to another..."You'll notice that neither the prosecutor or defense attorney swore to tell the truth!"

Lawyer is lying: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?His lips are moving.

Every 18 months: Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since 1970. Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as efficient and half as expensive every 18 months.

Wrestling with a pig: Arguing with a lawyer is like mud wrestling with a pig: after a while you realize that the pig is at home in the mud.