Upset: Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"Q: And why did that upset you?A: My name is Susan.

Forty-five years: Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you?A: Forty-five years.

Moment of impact: Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Date of birth: Q: What is your date of birth?A: July fifteenth.Q: What year?A: Every year.

Ducks gay dirty court judge Jokes: Three ducks went into court. The judge called the first one to the stand. "What is your name?" he asked. "Quack." the duck answered. "And why were you arrested?" the judge asked. "I was blowing bubble

Nuclear weapons: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.

With the door: A truck driver frequently traveled through a small town where there was a courthouse at the side of the road. Of course, there were always lawyers walking along the road. The truck driver made it a pr

The Preachers Mower:: A small boy was pushing a gasoline-powered lawnmower down the streetWith a "For Sale" sign on it. A man stopped him asked if the mower would run. The boy told him it would so the man bought it.A while

Alligator: A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?""Sure do," replied the bartender. "Good," said the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my '

A ROOM FOR THE NIGHT: A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said "There might be a problem; you see, I only have r

A MISCALCULATION AT THE PEARLY GATES: Joe the lawyer died suddenly, at the age of 45. He got to the gates of Heaven, and the angel standing there said, "We've been waiting a long time for you." "What do you mean," he replied, "I'm only 45