FRIVILOUS LAW SUITS BY US JAILBIRDS: A Virginia inmate tried to sue him for $5 million on the grounds that he had gotten drunk and caused himself to violate his religious beliefs by committing a crime. Because he had no money, he wanted A defendant: A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined!""It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer. "Would it help if I sent the j A MOST UNUSUAL DEFENCE: A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to QUICKFIRE LAWYER GAGS: 1Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?A: His lips move2Q: What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.3Q: What ARRIVING AT THE PEARLY GATES: Following a distinguished legal career, a man arrived at the Gates of Heaven, accompanied by the Pope, who had the misfortune to expire on the same day. The Pope was greeted first by St. Peter, who es ON HEARING THE NEWS: A law firm receptionist answered the phone the morning after the firm's senior partner had passed away unexpectedly. "Is Mr. Spenser there?" asked the client on the phone."I'm very sorry, but Mr. Spen THE YOUNG ATTORNEY ON VACATION: For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting A ROMANTIC AT HEART: A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes ou MORE AMAZINGLY REAL EXTRACTS FROM AMERICAN COURTRO: 1"Are you married? ""No, I'm divorced." "And what did your husband do before you divorced him?""A lot of things I didn't know about." 2"Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposi A STRANGE STORY: A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The inscriber insisted that such an inscription wo THE SNAKE AND THE RABBIT: A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the point where the pathways meet. They immediately began to argue with one another as to w |