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Lawyer Jokes

Deathbed lawyer: Q: Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died? A: He was looking for loopholes!

Degrees of the law: Q: What do you call a lawyer who doesn't know the law? A: A judge.

Don't mess with the judge: There were three men at a bar. One man got drunk and started a fight with the other two men. The police came and took the drunk guy to jail. The next day the man went before the judge. The judge asked

Drowning lawyer: Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water.

Engineering in hell: An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place." So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let

Farmer joe and his mule: Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was quest

Female lawyer vs. pitbull: Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? A: Lipstick.

Four surgeons: Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work. "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on," said the first surgeon. "You open them up and everything inside is numbered." "

Get him off me or i'll sue!: Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A: A Doberman pinscher.

Guess who?: A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes ou

Heavenly help: Betty & Tim were killed in an auto accident on the eve of their wedding. When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter met them. They asked if they could still be married in Heaven. "Well, let me find

 
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