Hellacious: Q: Why'd the lawyer go to Heaven? A: Hell was full.

Law school graduation gift: Q: What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School? A: A lobotomy.

Lawyer and sperm: Q: What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common? A: Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.

Lawyer on his deathbed: A lawyer lies dying, his partner of 40 years by his bedside. "Jack, I've got to confess. I've been sleeping with your wife for 30 years and I'm the father of your daughter, Hillary. On top of that, I'

Lawyer or ass?: A man walks into a bar and he's really pissed. The bartender gives him a drink and asks what the problem is. All he says is, "all lawyers are a*******." A man sitting in the corner shouts, "I take off

Lawyer vs. snake: Q: A snake and a lawyer both got hit by a car. What's the difference between them? A: The snake had skid marks in front of him.

Lawyer stamps: Q: Why did the post office recall the new lawyer stamps?A: Because people could not tell which side to spit on.

Lawyer-client relations: Q: Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having sex? A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

Lawyers and god: Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and God? A: God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

Lawyers in lust: Two lawyers are walking down the street, when a beautiful woman walks by. "Boy, I'd like to screw her," says one lawyer. "I agree," says the other. "But out of what?"

Lawyers love sushi!: Q: Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers? A: It's called, Sosumi.